Sway my Way

One of the more meaningful songs I've ever heard. Enjoy! :)


Don't stray
Don't ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes
When you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you
Pull me out in time
Don't let me drown
Let me down
I say its all because of you
And here I go
Losing my control
I'm practicing your name
So I can say it to your face
It doesn't seem right
To look you in the eye
And let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed its time
Tell you why
I say its infinitely true

*
Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

And there's no cure
And no way to be sure
Why everythings turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired
I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now
It all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon
(Repeat * 2x)

Its all because of you
Its all because of you

Now
It all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon
Its time
Tell you why
I say its infinitely true
(Repeat * 2x)

Its all because of you
Its all because of you
Its all because of you

Sunsets

I have the most unbelievable blessing of sitting at a spot in our office space where I can fully see the beautiful Manila sunset. Funny thing about this is, I originally didn;t want to be seated there. Remember Poison Ivy? I was assigned to sit beside him! I seriously considered transferring to another cube to avoid his wrath, but since he won't be back until August, I took the risk of remaining in my assigned seat.

The first day that I came back from Singapore, I began to feel myself around my new home. It was odd, actually, being seated in a very accessible, yet isolated area. My cube is located right where people would come from all directions; and yet, it was quite isolated because I'm alone in my cube and had no one to talk to. By mid-afternoon, I realized that I can actually see the sunset straight from my seat! I anxiously waited for it, but then -- the demands of work came in. I was dragged (!) from one cube to another, accommodating one question after another. Then, I took a glance at our window -- and it's gone! :(

But the following day, I had the luxury of finally seeing the sun in its red-orange glory! It was great seeing one of God's great miracles! I feel honored and humbled to see God's work in my life, despite my busyness. God is good!

Prayer moment

I was sorting my unarranged documents (in short, BASURA!!!) in my room when I chanced upon my notes on prayer and meditation in our Retreat for Daily Life (RDL). RDL is a prayer activity and spiritual experience which is offered at the Center for Ignatian Spirituality (CIS) right at the remote retreat house Sacred Heart Novitiate (SHN) in Novaliches. SHN is where the aspirant Jesuits of Ateneo take their first 2 year before moving on to be a novitiate. Well, I have to admit, I came from rival school La Salle, but I just love the Ignatian spirituality; there's something in it which makes my spirit free and makes my heart beat for more of life's surprises.

Anyways, on with my "paghahalungkat". I saw an article of what it is to desire God. Sabi sa Hindu anecdote, may isang villager who asked a holy man what it is to desire God so deeply. Ilang beses bumalik yung villager dun sa holy man. Finally, when the holy man saw the villager's persistence, he told the villager to meet him in the lake where he will take his bath. When the villager met the holy man in the lake, the holy man held the villager's head firmly and put it firmly in the water for a few minutes. E di nag-struggle for air talaga yung villager. When the holy man asked the villager why he struggled in the water, the villager answered, "because I need air. If I have no air, I will die." The holy man said, "They day you desire to seek God like the air we breathe is the day you find Him."

Sobrang naiyak talaga ako nun! I felt that I was not desiring enough for God. I felt that I was desiring for... uhhmm, Spiderman???? .. more than God. And that made me feel remorseful. Then, I realized something about prayer and desiring for God....

I have just realized a wonderful thing today. Each day of our life passes by without us realizing the great works that God has made in our life. When we ask for the grace to seek God, we feel the pain because we realize how empty we are. We just don't discover our emptiness because of a lot of things that cloud our vision of our inner self. But when we ask for God's grace to desire for God and we realize our emptiness, joy sets in; we realize that there's a lot of room in our hearts for God to fill in. And that's how we finally find God. :)

Searching for and finding love

Many people always tell me: Love does not come when you search for it. Love comes at a very unexpected moment, during a time when you do not long for it, or probably when you do not expect it anymore. The more you search for love, the more it hides itself from you.

I have been in love almost every day of my life. Whenever I meet someone new and I see something mysterious or interesting in him, I find myself being drawn closer to that person. Circumstances would make us see each other at the mostunexpected times. Then, we get to know each other more deeply -- get to know our families, our past work experiences, our principles and beliefs. Then, if I think he fits my essentials, I find myself falling for him. Then, I would get hurt because little by little, I realize that we are not meant for each other or he's not interested with me.

I've been rejected too many times, being passed up by men, probably because they're intimidated. I've been hurt and I've felt insecured so many times. I'm on the verge of giving up, that someone will have the courage to pursue me, to tell me that he loves me and he's willing to pursue me and cherish me. I'm beginning to believe that that day will never come.

But hope springs eternal and God will someday surprise me with His gift for me. He will also give me the grace to overcome issues in my life to prepare me to receive him when both our hearts are ready. I can't wait for that to happen.